Be empowered to step more fully into your thoughts—and begin shaping your vision of a “good” death. Like life, dying and death can be by your own creation.

Reflective questioning cultivates self-awareness and illuminates the values, beliefs, and heartfelt wishes that shape your approach to dying and death. These personal reflections often arise from your philosophical, religious, spiritual, or deeply individual perspectives. The more comfortable you become in exploring and expressing your thoughts and feelings, the more at ease you may feel in sharing them with loved ones—especially those who may one day speak or act on your behalf.

Sorting through these thoughts may not be easy at first. That’s okay. You don’t have to answer every question now. Allow yourself to begin where you are, and revisit when you’re ready.

Continue writing in your journal. Over time, you may even find yourself crafting your own story. Sharing that story with those closest to you can bring peace, presence, and connection—to you and to all who walk this journey with you.

Questions to Ponder:

1. What would an ideal death be like for me?

2. Who do I want to be present with me? Do I prefer to be alone?

3. What legal, relational, or personal matters need completion?

4. What are my assets, and how do I wish them to be handled?

5. What personal treasures would I like to leave to specific loved ones?

6. What have been—and what continue to be—the most precious events of my life?

7. Who are the most important people in my life? Have I told them why?

8. Are there family or friends I wish to share something meaningful with—things I’ve never expressed?

9. Do I feel the need to forgive or to be forgiven?

10. Have I written my obituary or an epitaph?

11. Have I created a living will or completed advance directives?

12. Have I chosen someone to make medical decisions on my behalf? Do I have a legal healthcare proxy?

13. Have I planned any end-of-life rituals (burial, funeral, memorial, cremation)?

14. If I want to be buried, what would I like to be buried in?

15. What kind of coffin or container do I want for my body?

16. Who do I want to lead or participate in my burial or memorial ceremony?

17. What kind of ceremony feels right for me?

18. Do I prefer a wake, or something else? Who should lead it?

19. Are there specific prayers, passages, poems, or music I would like included?

20. Would I like a death-day celebration? If so, when? Who should be invited?

Through heartfelt conversations, you can clarify what matters most and ensure your wishes are honored with care and grace.